Six Ways to Eliminate Negative Intrusive Thoughts That Cause Anxiety and Depression
There’s truth to the old saying “We’re our own worst critic.” We all deal with negative thoughts about ourselves, which can be helpful in keeping us motivated and on track to reach goals. However, when these thoughts become intrusive, constant, and excessively negative, it can lead to anxiety and depression. These intrusive thoughts and negative thought patterns can be hard to break, but doing so is key to healing and feeling better.
What Are Intrusive Thoughts?
Intrusive thoughts are repetitive, sometimes irrelevant thoughts that pop into your mind in any given situation. While some people experience intrusive thoughts about harmful things happening to themselves and others, this article is specifically referencing negative thoughts about yourself - also referred to as negative self-talk.
Negative self-talk isn’t always extreme. It can start out as something as small as, “I’m not good at running, I shouldn’t even try,” but it can quickly become more severe - “I’m not good at running, I’ll never lose weight, no one will ever love me, I’m worthless.” Intrusive thoughts can often spiral in this way. They may start out as harmless observances, then divulge into much more negative general statements, turning into blaming and catastrophizing thoughts.
The issue with negative thoughts like this is that your brain believes them. When it hears these thoughts often enough, it begins looking for proof of these thoughts and ignores any evidence that the thoughts are untrue. For example, if you tell yourself that you’re not smart, you’ll only notice situations in which you could be seen as unintelligent, ignoring all the times throughout the day that you were able to problem solve and help others with your knowledge.
Constantly thinking negative things about yourself leads to more serious issues, like anxiety and depression. Research shows that people who experience repetitive intrusive thoughts have a higher risk of developing anxiety and depression. When we get stuck ruminating on negative thoughts, we can also face relationship challenges, struggles with perfectionism, and a lack of motivation. Additionally, dealing with negative thoughts means you also lack positive self-talk, which research has shown is a key predictor of success. You need to believe you can succeed in order to actually do so.
How to Eliminate Intrusive Negative Thoughts
1. Make an Effort to Notice the Thoughts
As simple as it sounds, the first step to eliminating intrusive thoughts is noticing that they’re happening. Start by making an effort just to take note of the thoughts and what’s leading up to them.
2. Name Your Inner Critic
Sometimes it can help to give the negative voice in your head a name. Negative Nancy, Petty Prudence, Rude Rhonda - name it whatever you like. Then, notice your negative thoughts and separate yourself from the thought by thinking of it as coming from a critic with your chosen name.
3. Vocalize the Negative Thoughts
Saying what you’re thinking aloud might help you see that what you’re thinking isn’t logical, which can help you realize that it isn’t true. If you’re thinking you’re awful at math and therefore are going to fail at life, saying it aloud might make you realize how silly it sounds. You can also say it to a trusted friend to help you gain clarity.
4. Would You Say It to a Friend?
Speaking of friends, would you talk to a friend or sister the way you talk to yourself? Probably not! Notice that what you’re saying wouldn’t be fair to say to someone you love and question whether it’s fair to say it to yourself.
5. Know that Feelings and Thoughts Aren’t Reality
This can be a hard truth to accept, but the way you feel and think is biased and can’t necessarily be considered accurate. When you’re stuck in negative self-talk, remind yourself that it’s just a thought - it’s not what is actually happening in this moment.
6. Flip the Script
If you find yourself ruminating on the worst possible outcome, try asking yourself what the best possible outcome could be. Try to shift yourself into that headspace by imagining what it would feel like if the best outcome occurred.
If you’re struggling with intrusive thoughts or negative thoughts, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Sometimes, speaking with an unbiased outside party can help you bring reality back into focus, balancing out facts from thoughts and emotions. While negative self-talk can lead to anxiety and depression, know that there are resources out there to help you, and these feelings won’t last forever. Recognizing the negative thoughts is the first step to getting better.
Resources:
https://www.verywellmind.com/negative-self-talk-and-how-it-affects-us-4161304#citation-1
https://www.news-medical.net/health/Intrusive-Thoughts-and-Depression.aspx
https://journals.humankinetics.com/view/journals/jsep/33/5/article-p666.xml
Dr. Zairys Feliz, Ph.D., LCSW is a clinical psychotherapist. Zairys provides individual, couples and sex therapy using evidence-based approaches. She specializes in treating individuals and couples who have relationship or sexual concerns. Read full bio