Did I Just Discover That I’m An Introvert - Or Did Covid Make Me This Way?
There’s no doubt that Covid changed many things about the way we operate and the world we live in. One of the most notable changes lies within the way we socialize with others. After months and years in isolation, did the pandemic force us into becoming introverts? Or were we always this way - and Covid just gave us time to realize it? This article will explore the ways that the pandemic changed the way we socialize, as well as how introversion and mental health issues come into play.
How Covid Impacted Socialization
To discuss this topic, we must first clarify our terms. There are many definitions for introverts and extroverts, but the ideas remain the same. Introverts are people who find themselves refreshed and recharged by being alone, while extroverts get their energy from being with others. Both can enjoy socializing, but once drained, they look to different places to refuel. Extroverts feel restored by human interaction, while introverts are replenished by time alone.
You might think that introverts would handle lockdown and social distancing better than extroverts, but the data shows otherwise. Studies found that introversion was correlated with more anxiety, depression, and loneliness. On the flipside, extroversion was linked with a lower likelihood of mental health issues and anxiety during the pandemic.
Why? Many introverts were forced to actually spend more time socializing - only now, it was with the family or roommates they lived with. Rather than getting the alone time they dreamed of, they were forced to socialize more. Meanwhile, some researchers suggest that extroverts were better able to cope because they have more problem-solving strategies. For example, they’re better able to reach out and seek emotional support, even if that method of connection was now virtual.
Still, many people who once confidently labeled themselves extroverts are now questioning that label. Without the ability to socialize safely during Covid, introverts and extroverts alike were given a mandatory look into what life could be like with more alone time. This essentially forced people to learn to rely on themselves where they may have once turned to others. While it was painful at first, many extroverts learned to utilize self-reflection. Over time, they began connecting with themselves and their emotions more than they ever had before. They were forced to find a new way to recharge their energy, and many were able to find that from within.
So, when things began opening up again, prior extroverts may not have been as excited as they once imagined. Now, the idea of going to social events cut into their me-time. Sure, extroverts may still be sociable, but many are planning for more time alone to reflect, process, and decompress. They essentially got “better” at having downtime and learned to actually enjoy it.
Forced Into Extroversion?
If extroverts were so easily transformed into introverts, were they ever actually extroverted to begin with? Is it possible that we’re all actually introverts to some degree? It’s fair to say that, like many things in life, social preferences are a spectrum. While there are some people who may be diehard introverts and staunch extroverts, the majority of people fall somewhere in the middle.
Still, this idea is worth exploring. Is it possible that the majority of people are more naturally introverted than extroverted? Consider the way that society functioned pre-pandemic: most people were required to show up in-person to school, work, sports events, parties, and more. It was simply the way of life - our daily tasks required our physical presence. Once there, we inevitably had to socialize with others, from collaborating on work to small talk by the water cooler.
Once Covid hit, however, we had to adjust. Schools and offices went remote. Social events also became digital - from trivia nights to cooking classes, we could do it all online, from the comfort of our homes. We could even order groceries and takeout without ever actually interacting with someone.
It may not have been easy, but for many, it became the preferred way of life. As such, it does seem possible that many people were more introverted prior to Covid than they realized. Societal expectations may have forced them to be more extroverted, but after the pandemic, they were allowed to embrace more solitary tendencies.
Likewise, if you’re feeling stressed out about social interactions, you’re not alone. Periods of social isolation can actually impair our ability to connect with others. Several studies have shown that adults feel more anxious about interacting with others post-pandemic. They worry about everything from what to talk about to how to act. So, while pre-pandemic conditions might have forced us to be more extroverted, Covid may have actually taken away some of those social skills.
Mental Health Implications of Covid
Of course, things aren’t quite as simple as extroverts learning to love solitary time. Covid had a huge impact on our mental health, which also affects how we socialize. First, many people had to fight between the conflicting desires to be included in social events and to be at home alone. Having this inner battle and trying to disentangle themselves from expectations, both societal and personal, can lead to a negative self-opinion.
Additionally, it can be hard to separate these feelings from the negative mental state that the pandemic brought upon us. Multiple surveys showed a spike in symptoms of anxiety, stress, insomnia, and depression during Covid compared to pre-pandemic. There was also a significant increase in alcohol and drug use, which many people used as a way to cope with the fear surrounding the pandemic.
People who were of average mental health may have experienced more of the symptoms of these mental health disorders. Meanwhile, people who already had these conditions prior to the pandemic, especially depression and anxiety, experienced worsened symptoms.
With that said, many people experienced depression during the pandemic, which led to even more social withdrawal. In fact, people who have depression report having more frequent negative social interactions, as well as a stronger reaction to those events. Depression can make you feel like others don’t understand you. It can make you withdraw from sharing your feelings with others, and it can also make you snap at those closest to you. All put together, this can lead to a decrease in social confidence, making it even harder to connect with others in the first place.
What’s Really Going On?
Ultimately, your level of introversion is on a spectrum. It’s fair to say that how introverted you feel may shift from time to time, depending on what’s going on in your life. This is especially true now, as we navigate through an unprecedented pandemic. You, like many people, may be facing the perfect storm of pandemic-related introversion and symptoms of depression. If you dealt with mental health issues prior to Covid, it’s likely that the pandemic only worsened your symptoms, including your ability, or inability, to socialize.
Still, it’s not all bad. While there’s nothing wrong with extroverts recharging with human interaction, there’s something to be said for being self-reliant. The pandemic forced us to spend more time on self-reflection. It led us to create new - potentially healthier - habits centered around decompressing alone. While prior extroverts may have once made plans every night of the week to avoid their own thoughts, many are now open to spending time at home with their own company.
It’s also possible that society may have forced you into extroversion. With so many social obligations and expectations, you had no choice but to rise to the occasion. Now, post-pandemic, you get to decide who you are. You get to look inward to really investigate what recharges you. Do you feel refreshed when you spend time alone, or when you connect with others? Perhaps you can find a new balance and use both as sources of energy.
If you find that you’re introversion is related to depression, it might be time to reach out and ask for help. Likewise, if you’re experiencing issues with socializing, even with the world back to some semblance of normal, talking to someone could help you sort out your feelings and give you the tools to get back in the driver’s seat. If you’re ready to take action, you can learn more about my offerings for depression therapy and individual therapy. I’m here to help.
Sources:
https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20210218-why-we-may-have-to-re-learn-to-socialise
https://www.michigandaily.com/statement/did-covid-make-us-all-introverts/
Dr. Zairys Feliz, Ph.D., LCSW is a clinical psychotherapist. Zairys provides individual, couples and sex therapy using evidence-based approaches. She specializes in treating individuals and couples who have relationship or sexual concerns. Read full bio