How Anxiety Causes Erectile Dysfunction And 7 Strategies to Overcome It
Experiencing erectile dysfunction can certainly feel lonely and shameful - like you’re the only person with this problem. If you’re in this camp, you might be surprised to find out that erectile dysfunction (ED) is actually incredibly common. In fact, ED affects around 18 million American men ages 20 and up. That number may be even higher, as it’s likely that cases of ED are under-reported.
You can experience ED for a variety of reasons, but psychological factors are the most common. Very often, stress and anxiety lead to erectile dysfunction. This is good news because you can figure out the cause of the anxiety, treat or resolve it, and improve the ED. Let’s discuss how that works and what strategies you can use to correct it.
Anxiety and Erectile Dysfunction
Outside of sleep, erections occur due to physical stimulation and mental or visual associations. When you get an erection, it involves several components of the body, including your hormones, emotions, nervous system, muscles, and blood vessels. When any of these factors are disrupted, it can lead to ED. Stress and anxiety can cause such disruptions by changing the way your brain sends signals for a bodily response.
The body’s natural response to stress is to enter “fight or flight mode,” in which your sympathetic nervous system unconsciously takes over to protect you from a threat. This includes a faster heart rate and deeper breathing, but it also inhibits other less immediately necessary body functions, like having an erection. If you’re experiencing anxiety, you may always be in this state, which can keep you from getting an erection.
Causes of Anxiety and ED in Men
Men experience ED and anxiety for all kinds of reasons. However, there are some common occurrences:
Men under 30 most commonly experience ED due to anxiety and nervousness, which is usually a short-term issue.
Men aged 30 to 50 are most likely to experience erectile dysfunction because of professional and personal stress.
Men over 50 most commonly experience ED because of age-related life circumstances, like impotence, loss of a partner, or adjusting to retirement.
Still, there are plenty of events that can bring on enough anxiety to cause ED. This includes problems at work or within a relationship, fear of aging, financial issues, and changes in health.
Strategies to Overcome Anxiety-Related Erectile Dysfunction
1. Check Medical First
It’s important to take care of your physical health and make sure your ED isn’t a result of something going on internally. If you smoke, have high cholesterol, or have diabetes, these could play a role in your ED. Circulation is also key. Talk to your primary care doctor or check in with a urologist to make sure everything is healthy internally.
2. Develop Healthier Stress Management Techniques
The way you manage stress inside and outside of the bedroom is key in controlling your anxiety. You can manage your stress through grounding exercises like meditation and breathwork. These techniques will help you enjoy the present moment rather than worrying about the past or future. You can also utilize performance anxiety management strategies, like practicing mindful focus while in sexual situations. Read more about those strategies here.
3. Talk With Your Partner
Be open with your partner about your worries and anxiety. With their understanding, you can remove the stress of performing and enjoy the moment. If you’re afraid to discuss the issue with your partner, it might be time to assess the communication in your relationship which may be stemming from bigger issues. You can also try journaling to release your stressors before attempting to get an erection.
4. Focus on the Journey, Not the Destination
It’s easy to get caught up in worrying about having an erection and making sure you (and your partner) have an orgasm. Instead of focusing on those destination-specific goals, take your time and concentrate on enjoying the sensual experience that leads up to those things. What do you hear, feel, smell, taste, and see? Zero in on the joy that these things bring you rather than the destination.
5. Decrease Porn Use
There’s nothing wrong or shameful about watching porn. However, studies show that frequent porn use actually leads to a lower sexual desire. This may be because porn gives you unrealistic expectations and makes it harder to enjoy real life sexual experiences. Try decreasing porn use slowly and try using thoughts and mental images of your partner to become aroused.
6. Change the Way You Masturbate
If you’re used to the feeling of your hand instead of a vagina, slowly start to include lubricant when you masturbate. This will make the sensation of your hand feel more like the wetness of a vagina. As you get used to that, you can begin using sex toys that mimic the feeling of a vagina even more, like a fleshlight, until you’re able to maintain an erection and orgasm from vaginal penetration.
7. Talk With a Sex Therapist
Talking to an expert can help you better understand the root cause of your anxiety. They can also provide you with personalized strategies to address it.
As a sex therapist, I specialize in helping people overcome barriers like anxiety in order to enjoy a more well-rounded, healthy sex life. If anxiety is causing you to experience erectile dysfunction or limiting you in any way, I can help. Check out my full list of services here.
Resources:
https://www.healthline.com/health/erectile-dysfunction-anxiety-stress#treatment
Dr. Zairys Feliz, Ph.D., LCSW is a clinical psychotherapist. Zairys provides individual, couples and sex therapy using evidence-based approaches. She specializes in treating individuals and couples who have relationship or sexual concerns. Read full bio