How to Find Dates At Every Age (20s - 60+!)
Dating at any age comes with its challenges. For people in their twenties, finding dates with similar life goals can be difficult. For folks in their sixties, it may seem like there are few age-appropriate matches to begin with. Meanwhile, people of all ages may struggle to find dates with people who share the same values.
So, how can you find dates that are worth the time and effort? Here’s an in-depth guide.
Finding Dates in Your Twenties
Dating in your twenties can be both exciting and nerve-wracking. It can feel messy, since you may not have a lot of prior experience. If you’ve never dated at all, it may even feel scary or overwhelming.
People at this age can have a variety of goals with dating. Some may be looking for simple flings, while others want long-term relationships that lead to marriage. It’s important to have a general idea of what you want before you get out there.
To find dates in your twenties, you may be tempted to reply only on dating apps, but you should also try going out where the other 20-somethings are. Avoid noisy clubs and opt for low-key bars where you’ll have more opportunities to meet, talk, and connect with someone. An activity bar, like an arcade bar, gives you a shared activity and an easy way to start a conversation.
If you aren’t a night owl, you can also try working in a coffee shop. If you go there often, you’ll notice others who consistently do the same and can connect that way. You can also try joining a site like Meetup.com, where you can join trivia groups or book clubs.
Finding Dates in Your Thirties
People often feel a lot of pressure to settle down in their thirties. You may have had a traditional upbringing or more old-fashioned people in your life giving you the impression that you should be married with kids already. In reality, it’s becoming increasingly common for people to hit these milestones later in life.
You’ve likely already spent time dating around, learning about yourself and your needs. Plus, the dating pool opens up in your thirties. Rather than having a set age range, you can focus more on maturity level and life goals.
One of the best ways to find dates in your thirties is to spend time in public doing things you’re interested in. The gym, a cooking lesson, and art classes are great places to meet people with shared interests and values. Make yourself approachable by avoiding wearing headphones and making eye contact. In these scenarios, you can build up connections slowly, week by week, which can ultimately lead to dates.
Finding Dates in Your Forties
Dating in your forties presents some unique challenges. Many people in your dating pool are navigating divorce, co-parenting, and full-time careers. You’re likely managing a lot of distracting responsibilities, as are your potential dates.
By the time you reach this age, though, you’ve already learned some great lessons about relationships. You know what you want and don’t want. You have more life experience, greater confidence, and more wisdom to guide you.
To find dates in your forties, spend time in places that make you feel good. For example, join a running club or hang out at a bar with live music. You may also find yourself too busy to regularly spend time in public, so don’t be afraid to turn to dating apps. Be sure to choose one that suits your goals - for example, Hinge and Match.com tend to be more geared toward long-term relationships.
Finding Dates in Your Fifties
As you enter your fifties, you’ve settled into yourself. You’re more comfortable with who you are, both in mind and body. You know your interests and values. Know that dating in your fifties will look different than when you were in your twenties or thirties. You’re not the same person you were at those ages, and neither is your dating pool.
To find dates at this age, try a mix of online and in-person sources. Some dating sites, like eHarmony and OKCupid, tend to have more people in your age range. Then, consider asking your friends and family to introduce you to their single friends. At this age, you have a network of people with great connections. Consider connecting with old friends, too - you already have some shared ground there which you could potentially build upon.
Finding Dates in Your Sixties and Beyond
Dating in your sixties can be challenging because of the changes that happen during this stage of life. Oftentimes, people feel like their social network shrinks as people often retire and relocate in their sixties. However, this can also be a very freeing time. You likely have more time and financial stability than ever, plus fewer obligations. That means you can have fun meeting new people and trying new things.
You must put yourself out there to find dates. Consider volunteering at a food bank or animal shelter to meet people with similar values. Or, try joining a group fitness class for seniors to meet other active folks. Likewise, joining a senior center creates a ton of opportunities to meet people in a similar age range. A matchmaking service, like It’s Just Lunch, can also make meeting new people easy.
At the end of the day, dating at every age can be tough but incredibly rewarding. If you struggle with meeting people or want personalized guidance as you navigate the dating world, consider checking out therapy. As a couples and sex therapist, I help people just like you every day. You can read more about my services here.
Sources
Dr. Zairys Feliz, Ph.D., LCSW is a clinical psychotherapist. Zairys provides individual, couples and sex therapy using evidence-based approaches. She specializes in treating individuals and couples who have relationship or sexual concerns. Read full bio